did i mention i stayed in school with grace and telle till 8pm on saturday? had a good chat with grace over lunch. it was good, managed to internalise kidney. and it poured in the evening while the sun was setting. the rain had a pinkish-purplish tinge to it, the sky was like that too. and from the canteen you can see the whole field (turned swimming pool), the trees in the background, in front of the railway track. the bungalows rising above the trees behind that. it's through such incidents that you learn to love a place. yeah?
but i was shaken. sometimes it's so hard to find the right words. and once again i learn, when it happens to you, or around you, it's really not the same as (ganz verschieden) watching tv.
i was in school again for training today, so i stayed after that. cai was supposed to join me but she didnt' come in the end. there was val though, who was so .. feeling unwell. ah well but enjoyed her company. it's still good to have your own friends. and there were sihuan and li xin, the pair of them were hilarious. (li xin is wah. unbelievably cute). but =S really polite to them. still feel like they're "strangers". yeah you know the feeling. met hon in school after training. really good to have met her. got caught in the rain a bit after coming back from ghim moh getting food (for-_-..)
! harharhar. =). wait. happiness later.
people aren't measured by their grades. so stop it right now. people aren't just described with simply either "stupid" or "smart". so to hell with all of you. somebody, keep me away from these people.
"And I don't want the world to see me
Cuz I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am"
-iris
never felt that these words made sense, just thought they were pretty dark. but somehow it seems to make more sense.
some people, you can't be too nice to, coz they'll just think you're nichts.
i could be a better person than you could ever be and you wouldn't even know it.
disgusting.
some things you can't force. i'm glad i learned my lesson a long time ago. i'm glad i made (a big share) of mistakes in order to become (partly) what i am today. so, take a hike. nah. hiking's too good. fly a kite.
i don't even know why it gets to me, it's of no value at all to me.
when i grow up (i'm almost there) i will show every human being the respect that's due to them as a human being.
but some humans just don't deserve that respect.
and when i grow up i will learn not to give a ** about anything that's not worth it. ("don't give a damn!!" in ad's words. very good advice.)
something to do in the COURSE of growing up: i promise not to use the word "mug" again.
i can feel everything crashing down again. time to enter everything-and-everyone-around-you-is-hideous mode.
manipulation really works doesn't it. amazing. didn't know it worked so well. at least it didn't come nicely wrapped up and then exploding in my face.
okok for the goodness now=). school has taken on a very different meaning! ....... damn. well. otherwise it'd be so dry and unexciting oder? i believe there are good simple people/persons out there.
when you least expect it=)?
say hi to sun nonchalance yi. i'm so good at it i walked into a tree (and the rainwater fell on me).
you've gotta be as good as you're supposed to be! when everything's so grey around here.
don't let me become the rest of them.
"kein Anfang kein Ende" sounds so good in the song. =) Laith Al-Deen recommended! nice smooth voice.
(....try harder.)
will be in school again tmr afternoon. sigh. but nvm i'll stay there after that. looking forward to seeing val. a fellow gloomy person. (let's see if my luck runs out..."when i least expect it" probably won't work this time)
posted by sunny @ 08:57
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