out.! (ouch.)
i went to town yesterday morning and on the mrt i was quite irritated. at around clementi these two girls got on, and the taller one stood so near me i couldn't bring myself to breathe. -continues to bitch-. and it wasn't like there was no space on the other side; they just wanted to have sth to hold on to, and unfortunately that thing was right next to me. the taller one thought that it was all ok just coz she stuck the back of her head in my face (she was 2 to 3 inches from me, and i was definitely NOT comfortable with that). i ran some comments through my head, ranging from "could you move over a little? you're encroaching on my personal space" to "oops do you girls mind? i farted." but thought that that was rather distasteful and didn't wanna ruin their obnoxiously unaware mood, so i resorted to flamboyantly grabbing my phone from my bag to show i needed lots of space, trying to breathe on her arm that barred me into place, as well as giving a super -_- look to her shorter friend when she turned around to talk to her taller friend, hoping she'd notice and pull the taller one towards her, and hence AWAY from me. but alas, to no avail. which brought me to think, that self-unconsciousness and buzidong-ness cannot be single-gened diseases, because 1. that's very rare and 2. would be easily rooted out, neither of which would be true since it seems to be belligerently rampant in this population. i conclude that it is caused by multiple genes as well as nurturing. pffffffft.
on the bright side, i am harmlessly invisible. yay!
so i met jen and emily! as well... shopped shopped ate ate...shopped ate shopped ate...at least settled what we set out to achieve. then i took the bus with emily and ended up at her place. found several things to have changed... very excited that all of them are working at AH.. means can meet up with alot of them all at one go... then em drove me to buona vista harhar so fun... hai.
i realized that being back here reminds me of the process of how i ended up being how i am... and also how little SPACE there is... maybe that's why the greater feeling of liberation back in champaign...
well, also, hinaus! lies lies. everytime i decide to stick to my word but i know i will falter in the face of a situation. either completely out, or involved, i can't handle anything in between.-_-.
but like my daily trips to windsor had taught me, at 7.30 one day i could be feeling bogged and as if the whole world's against me and nothing's going right, but at 7.30 the next everything's different and there ain't a cloud in my blue sky.
and i think i'm kinda screwed up..hmmmmmmmmm. for as long as i can remember, i have not reciprocated any imus and ilus, let alone said any myself. as if there's a barrier set up and i'm happily crouching behind it. well, it's hard to put it out there. and i'm pretty damn sure i'm not the only screwed up one around=P.
posted by sunny @ 04:11
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