i feel so...
SUFFOCATED. that's the word.
sigh. sometimes life is so innocently, blissfully simple...yet at others it's so complex....entangling one like a web. nothing works out. stuck.
and they leave one by one.
i've no one to talk to. but i can't say it anyway. too much for words. now would be a good time for a holiday.
it hurts. seems like - doesn't care. yet when i see -....it's so different. sometimes it seems like - can't be bothered. so disheartening. but then...everyone has their own lives. but why can't we go the same way? i guess this is the time we discover how we differ from one another, and how our paths differ....branching off in different directions. i can just picture our paths moving in different directions....with no bridges linking.
no that's not it. there's more. bitterness...sadness...frustration...
"i'm honest"
"what's the incentive?"
principles are not incentives-driven. definitely not. they're unwavering.
was it something i said?
was it the coke and the long hours i slept yesterday?
be thankful for what i have (much...) and look forward to better times. it's just a mood thing.
was very sad to leave the today. was i the only one? suddenly felt like i was leaving forever...could see them still playing as i climbed the stairs and left...could remember feeling "this is the last time". (sounds pretty bad) i don't like it when i get struck by pangs when normal people don't.
there are some songs which make your heart screw up and cry. don't you think so? don't you feel it down the back of your spine, the back of your head? don't you feel tears welling up and filling your eyes, yet that's as far it comes? so mild, yet so powerful.
oh look. reflective. but it's worse than narratives: there's nothing to get from here. just a mess of incoherency. (no, i am not "lovesick"-_- however much this may sound like)
urgh. reflections are dangerous.
posted by sunny @ 13:04
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