Wednesday, May 09, 2007

so...exams are over... at least the actual exams. still got a report due. sian. after tmr i think alot of pple would've ended and would be fully relaxed. so i must chiong finish my report tmr also! otherwise i'll have them gloating in my face;(
this week's not over and i'm already fully planned for the next week and a half, which is gonna be challenging...but exciting too!
never tried before. 25h of greyhounding. =SSSS. shh no one tell my mom. as long as there's me and my ipod, i'm happy, and i could go on forever. it's all part of the experience, oder?
meeting hannah and xu xu in chicago next tues, after bringing ui aik and junwan up to o'hare. awwwww. this weekend...grad lunch...can nua a bit...and then next goodness harhar. what can i say, there are always places to go. and ways to get there.
now that the holidays are almost here...i usual, "do all that i want to do".. harhar "which never get done" may i add. i shall, run every evening down to the FAR fields... hmm.... find a stable to do horseback riding, chup in for motorcycle lesson, read all the books, relearn EM which, admittedly, was never learnt (you should be ashamed of yourself). many things.. oh yes no. 1 resolution: wake up no later every day. HAR.
oh yes did i mention i have 2 weeks off. and then it will be summer till forever..and hot forever.

was very happy today. paisehs.
i thank goodness for the clarity with which i see/feel. but i hope it's not bitterness and regret! that would be...regretful. and i'm really glad... as usual, for many things in life..yeah. including the newly acquired clarity. amused.

but. piss me off. i'm regretful, that other pple have to bear with it. but... argh. it's just something else that i feel strongly about (take it or leave it..). after spending so long convincing myself to stomach it i guess it doesn't work. or maybe i'm just becoming so picky.. and so tired of pple.. so i was looking to a break but i just smacked into more..
slapslapslap. regains joyful mood. coz i also happen to have a rather staunch disposition of one who is against sulky girls who -don't really wanna talk about it but obviously sulky for everybody else to see and be infected too-. HARHAR. yeah. cheers for the crowd, for all of you.
at the very most it will be spring.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

something else i've learnt!
when somebody's not pleased with you, always ask, what did i do wrong. if you can't find anything, proceed to bash the other person up. heheheheheh.
and, it's always so so natural, as if by right, that "your side" of the story conveniently excludes anything against your favor. hm... oh well.
well, failure to report the whole truth beats outright twists and lies.

anyway. 17 year old boy's bday today. so extra extra long dinner. -_-. well i'm glad there are still seniors who'd celebrate for him despite it being the eve of finals week..yeah. =)..
almost there. hang on!
oh yar. continue heckcaring. well done.

Saturday, May 05, 2007

there are certain things i like and things i really really don't like... please don't ask me to tolerate those i don't like, because that's one of the (few, i'd like to think) things i really can't achieve... i'm not giving it a chance you may say, but... but.. soooooooo?
so i'm not a hypocrit, but why do i feel so......hmmmm. nobody's asking me, but i feel compelled to for some reason. yucks. passive aggression. i will never be myself again, if i have to worry about the consequences of what i say. how sad.
i am criticized for the pointlessness of demarcating boundaries... but i'm not so zai, i need a filter to make sure my life is still handle-able.
bet no one realised who i was really targeting with my announcement till just now. some things i just feel too strongly about, and i can't conceive the idea of compromising it. and i still can't figure out if i should be happy i'm plucking up enough courage to express my stands, or whether having an opinion on certain things is good. and i can't figure out if it's ironic too, what i'm doing is exactly what i'm against...who is to say if it's right ;( things used to be black and white ;(
arrrgh!. argh argh. i know the reason for wanting to get away next weekend. it's such a strong impulse too! argh.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

you still remember who's been good to you when times are hard.

hmm...infreundschaftsucheichnachrespektundoffenheit. andernfalls... ichkannmichnichtentschlie├čen.

anyway. what an eventful weekend. larlar. and i had hell day last friday... then i went to kick some soccer and that was damn shiok. then went to yeelin and helmi's for the yummy dinner they kindly treated all of us too. how nice.. then hollered some and made my mind up, which is a very decisive/dangerous thing btw. oh well. too bad. maybe it's weird of me, but i'm entitled, since i'm not Really doing anyone a disservice, because, well, the stipulated consequences were stated prior.
it's funny. i always thought i was weird because of the way i do certain things. two things in particular. but recently i've come to learn about two others who handle things in the same manner. i am reassured that i'm not the one-of-a-kind-weird. at least a little more mainstreamedly weird. HARHAR.

saturday was eventful, traumatic, but ... hmm.. oh well. harhar. i saw the best of things and pple, that was the only reassurance.

and sunday was packed! i went ot church with andrew in the morning, followed by brunch at LAR again (thanks again). and then i went for lab for 3 hours, during which my lab partner and i exposed each other to our music and consequently "it's alllright"-ed at each other harhar.

after getting through tuesday i think i shall be fine....=).. this week is kinda slack ... compared to previously lar...whatever.

i'm not afraid to say this. the singaporeans here like to talk alot. and sometimes i'm not too sure about their intentions. makes me thoroughly disgusted when i think of the possible motivations. one of which is, simply, talk and laugh about other pple's misfortunes. i am sick of and revolted by not-well-intentioned people; it is so f-ing ugly. get out of my life.
if you don't have anything good to say, don't say it. that's what i remembered my telling myself. and hmm, i shall recontinue to remind myself of it.
but at the same time, it only makes me appreciate the truly good people much much more. well done pple.

on lighter notes. i booked my ticket home on saturday.. for not too bad a price. i think i will be able to break even. a pity i can't really weave a little trip into that.
and summer..summer...don't have to pay rent anymore for 3months ! yay...won't be so poor. i splurged over the weekend... diao.