i want to run over a cliff
and float over the pacific.
ran all my urgent errands in the morning...and it seemed too fastly (xiz!) and smoothly done to be real... kudos to the ica. awfully impressive. oh yes met my niece too.
relaxing afternoon.....just what i've been needing dearly (but don't know when such a time will next be). even before lunchtime, at city hall starbucks just reading my 'a walk in the woods' by bill bryson... i think it's fast becoming one of my all time favourites...about nature, with lots of sarcasm and humor in everything he sees. ok sometimes it's a bit too sarcastic it raises a brow.
got me thinking about hiking the AT...or any long, arduous trail. not for the fainthearted or weakkneed! nahhhh. more like for the super boliao and masochists (Without the sexual connotations please). ok not so bad, let me try that again. more like for those who get lost (not literally) in the glory and peace of nature as well as their own thoughts...and most importantly..silence. a keen eye and nimble feet for obstacles would also be valuable endowments. the book has made my feet itchy.. but, don't be CRAZIER, sonnig.
i'd like to read another book, in a sunburnt country... which i ended up hunting for in mph but was disappointed. i think if i were only allowed one hobby in my life i'd like it to be reading. longlost pleasure revisits! and if i were allowed two hobbies i'd have the other be tennis=). bottle of remedy = occupation. and i'm glad my wii brings peace to the world, no matter how shortlived that may be. harhar.
abstinence is the key to inner peace and integrity (as opposed to torn). yeah right. but kick me if i do it again. eff. (i still can't say it=( )
over the past 2 days i've come to the realization that my smalltalk ability has absolutely deserted me.... yesterday at the dinner table, which was the only time of the whole night i dragged myself out of my hiding hole (where i was happily reading harry potter 5, where i left off. i aspired to finish the book by the end of the night...but only got to a mere 59/765+ pages-_-), i found myself looking down almost all the time...or staring at somewhere blankly... spoke only when spoken to...responded minimally to direct questions...but otherwise adhered strictly to "little kids should be seen and not be heard". oh dear... the night before that was somewhat similar too, at kai's. because it seems to take so much effort and discomfort just to make conversation with new pple nowadays...is this a sign of old age.
or maybe not....i found myself severely regressing in front of the two little kids (ok not exactly little).. or maybe coz theyr'e just..not grown up. they tortured me =( while all i wanted to do was read my book in peace. they made me watch high school musical which i thought was damn highschoolish and hence .. -scratch head bizarre look- juvenile. they poked and slapped me in my stomach a few times... after which they'd give an astounded look and proceed to laugh hysterically, at which i'd roll my eyes and go, i know, faat. well it's nice to see that pple are still so fond of me/disturbing me when i've not done a thing.
well i met eunice and dom for dinner on friday...yay...harhar but eunice has changed, eunice is grown up! dom hasn't=PPP (changed i mean=P)
kai's bday party on sat, (but happy birthday kai! on wednesday) and before that met em and jo (! =) ) in an attempt to watch the simpsons, that failed miserably. nice seeing some of the 412 girls (as always) at kai's place..and grateful for the distraction/entertainment once in a while.
and sunday was jennie's bday! happy birthday... hon and i met up for lunch with her at suntec, with her churchmates..but went off ourselves after that.
the ntu kids make alot of noise during orientation...sounds as if they're having lots of fun. harhar. yet another sober reminder of, bleah, -old age-.
it's my holiday...but guess what the only thing i'd be able to remember about it is....pffft. champaign was nicer, for wallowing in peace. NO! no wallowing. slapslapslap. bottle of wallowing-remedy?
i was on the bus ruminating as usual...and recalled how...under threat i'd say "you wanna take it outside? let's go." and thought, crap, if we really take it outside, what happens after that? hence, i decided i shall Eventually learn kickboxing. HARHARHAR. just coz i'm a girl don't think i'm not up to it.
hmmmmm...'ve got alot to say, boldly...had actually... and poof it all disappeared.
anyway, i have a grand plan!!! for being 21. i'm only 21 once... (ok fine i'm 21 for prob 365 days but...that's beside the point) -shou wu zu dao-. -fingers crossed-. but.. is it worth the $$$$$$?
i went to town yesterday morning and on the mrt i was quite irritated. at around clementi these two girls got on, and the taller one stood so near me i couldn't bring myself to breathe. -continues to bitch-. and it wasn't like there was no space on the other side; they just wanted to have sth to hold on to, and unfortunately that thing was right next to me. the taller one thought that it was all ok just coz she stuck the back of her head in my face (she was 2 to 3 inches from me, and i was definitely NOT comfortable with that). i ran some comments through my head, ranging from "could you move over a little? you're encroaching on my personal space" to "oops do you girls mind? i farted." but thought that that was rather distasteful and didn't wanna ruin their obnoxiously unaware mood, so i resorted to flamboyantly grabbing my phone from my bag to show i needed lots of space, trying to breathe on her arm that barred me into place, as well as giving a super -_- look to her shorter friend when she turned around to talk to her taller friend, hoping she'd notice and pull the taller one towards her, and hence AWAY from me. but alas, to no avail. which brought me to think, that self-unconsciousness and buzidong-ness cannot be single-gened diseases, because 1. that's very rare and 2. would be easily rooted out, neither of which would be true since it seems to be belligerently rampant in this population. i conclude that it is caused by multiple genes as well as nurturing. pffffffft.
on the bright side, i am harmlessly invisible. yay!
so i met jen and emily! as well... shopped shopped ate ate...shopped ate shopped ate...at least settled what we set out to achieve. then i took the bus with emily and ended up at her place. found several things to have changed... very excited that all of them are working at AH.. means can meet up with alot of them all at one go... then em drove me to buona vista harhar so fun... hai.
i realized that being back here reminds me of the process of how i ended up being how i am... and also how little SPACE there is... maybe that's why the greater feeling of liberation back in champaign...
well, also, hinaus! lies lies. everytime i decide to stick to my word but i know i will falter in the face of a situation. either completely out, or involved, i can't handle anything in between.-_-.
but like my daily trips to windsor had taught me, at 7.30 one day i could be feeling bogged and as if the whole world's against me and nothing's going right, but at 7.30 the next everything's different and there ain't a cloud in my blue sky.
and i think i'm kinda screwed up..hmmmmmmmmm. for as long as i can remember, i have not reciprocated any imus and ilus, let alone said any myself. as if there's a barrier set up and i'm happily crouching behind it. well, it's hard to put it out there. and i'm pretty damn sure i'm not the only screwed up one around=P.