Saturday, April 21, 2007

fades away

i feel like something's being lost, but i don't know what. it's slowly slipping away, and it's largely my...well..not really fault...but..."doing". something's changing.. i'm scared, but i get used to it, and i take it for granted, like everything else that has changed. oh well, nothing stays the same. i need a breath of fresh air.
and i need to focus!!

the weather is gorgeous and i love my balcony coz it's nicely shaded from the sun yet you can still enjoy the breeze and the warmth. i won't have a balcony next semester;(
i ran down to FAR yesterday, and even kicked some soccer. my gawd. but i was quite useless. harhar. but it was nice that no one challenged me the two times i had the ball; no one guarded me the whole time; and stupid dquek cheered me on with disguised insults everytime i made a run for the ball. HARHAR. it was interesting. i said i'd join them one fine day, i guess yesterday was the fine day.
although i had overdue work. up till now=SS.

i wasn't there; you weren't there... hmm. sowieesist.

i have a pretty short attention/interest span i realised.. arghness. just thinking about stuff makes me argh. i think i need to do sth man. i wish i could get out of here. i need a roadtrip again!!
i look forward to summer. but am a little horrified by the thought of having no tv when i'm finally free to indulge myself. what am i gonna do then, besides feeding myself. sniffs. i will have to rely on books. i always believed i could handle being alone, and this would prove me right/wrong. and anyway, uiuc's so...ulu. the only place i can spare time to make it to And enjoy is, what, chicago over the weekend. pfft. and after early june even xu xu won't be around.
okok. focus.

Sunday, April 08, 2007

"time to let go"

aka "whaaatever. i'm outta here".

so. ssa 07-08 has a new committee!! yay!! congrats to you guys. and gooooood luck. hurhurhur.
don't feel immediately freed. soon soon. now i can seriously consider realising all the things i've been wanting to do.. which is strange because i don't really think that organising ssa activities really took up that much time...but probably because i just set aside more time and attention for ssa because of high expectations. harhar well.

has been a busy week as usual...but it's gonna get worse. things turned out well. can't help but secretly impose expectations of outcomes. but thankfully for an enlightening conversation with a senior, i suddenly learnt sth that's applicable to me in general and not just in this instance. we all have expectations about the way things -should- turn out, but if it doesn't we will be ultra disappointed. so maybe we shouldn't have all these expectations. harhar. and with this is another thing. things will somehow work out..somehow.
i can't concur confidently, but i shall believe it.