Thursday, October 26, 2006

MWG weekend

i barely survived last week. and finally arrived at the long-awaited midwest games weekend. we were in wisconsin, and it was nice. we got lost.. met xu xu.. and of course lihao yuyun sarah junrong gerentt. many many pple. capt's ball was pretty nice this time round, we were more organized in our strategies n games. i enjoyed myself. too bad there wasn't time to go around seeing the other games. wisconsin was very pretty, the scenic route we drove through. envious of their union. then we had a pretty nice dinner with all the singaporeans. then i had alot of trouble deciding whether to stay or not. most of the uiuc pple went back. and i went to the party after that with fiona zhenhao and huiwei (i'm just rambling but do i look like i care) and met some pple. on sunday, we went to eat pi dan zhou in the morning, then went to the free zoo and were greatly amused and impressed by it. then we had uw's very own ice cream that pretty much blew us away. i got home really late though.. though i'd have preferred to come back in the afternoon=(.

it's almost funny that it's harder after every time.
i'm very disturbed and distraught.
i'm all alone. and you, i, all, were right. nobody cares.
i feel like i can't take this anymore.

relax. i'm not suicidal. i just need the weekend to be longer this time round. and to have a more settled state of mind.

or maybe it's just that "cold dark state of adulthood" that the physicist was illustrating with a diagram in his presentation yesterday. he was hilarious.

bin enttäuschend. habe gedanken, daß du besser als dieses warst.
i'm not a good friend nor person.. in some instances. but i do commit myself to being here if needed. but not more than that. maybe that's why.
that hurt. so what, i'll just become another one of you, acting like i will never be perturbed because i have been stripped of feelings (what, the lesser you feel the better you are or sth?). welcome to a new world eh.
i feel better already, after the chocolate and the ranting. but this is scary, my most disturbed entry=S. comeon. psycheup.
happy birthday eunice! and hongking! and gracie who's bday was yesterday actually

Saturday, October 14, 2006

happy people should not be sad

tues oct 10
finally got my chitchat with dickson! we were at buffalo wings and he even treated me to dinner=) so nice. well, so we talked for quite a bit...quite fun! he had a good time, which is good. seemed to me like ... there's not much opportunity for him to ...well..have a nice chat lar. so i'm glad he had a good time. ok. i got lost on my way to prospect. it wasn't my fault. really.(i sound..pathetic-_-) i missed the exit (i was forced to) and ended up missing more exits and driving for 15mins on interstate trying to get back. i was super stressed because dickson was with me, and he was like, you know where you're going or not, and then i'd say, yes, we're heading west, in the exact opp. direction where we wanna go. pffft. i swear it's his fault, the last time i was talking to him on the phone and i got lost too. i've only gotten lost whenever he has sth to do with the story. -raise eyebrows-.
so paiseh.
wed oct 11
happy birthday shifeng!
fri oct 13
after class went to jarling's for ice cream with nic jon and junwan!
then at night i had my florida meeting. wah so many pple.........i feel like a secretary again, for the trip this time. anyway, many pple = many wants = many options = many...
but i think the freshies will enjoy themselves, the pple going are pretty fun=) and i will enjoy myself coz i will stick to the pple i wanna stick to. yay. everything's good.
one not so good thing was that i had fall break flaunted in my face at least 3 times over the last 24h. -cough cough-.
after the meeting, jon joshua junwan ui aik all popped over, and said, let's go meijiers. i said OK. but didn't know why i was going, but oh well who cares.
sat oct 14
woke up early to bring jinyuan to dmv but we got there 20mins before it was opening so the line was superbly long. doh. so we gave up and he drove around until i almost fell asleep lor.
then i went back to sleep..and woke up ... had a little time before i went for capt's ball training. got a ride from dquek (i'm surprised too, that i'm comfortable enough to ask for a ride from him=) good!). had fun at capt's ball... but very tired... i can't mark the guys. like dom. just too fast and too tall for me.
after that we (joshua junwan fiona and i) went for dinner at siam terrace with the freshies as celebration for zhenhao's 21st bday tmr. cheers, happy birthday zhenhao! now you're all grownup. hurhurhur. (he still got his beer, that joshua ordered for him, taken away though...coz he's technically 21 only in 4 hours time. what the..pui)

it seems that most sentient and sensitive souls just seek to be understood and empathized with.
people feel lonely and sad because they think no one else understands. ;(.
happy people should not be sad. and nice ones don't deserve to be sad.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

for you you you and you.

i am thankful for you folks.
so mushy.
harhar but, i found myself family here. at least, an evil twin to conspire with, and an older-sibling-equivalent to look up to. sweet.

things are starting to pick up, it's been a highly happening month.

we had our food fest on sat sept 16th. alot of work done in preparation. but it was successful. and i was very impressed with bernard helmi and yeelin of course. gosh. i wouldn't even have known where to begin if i were put in their positions. bravo. we made profits (not as much as we'd like though..). the food was good. esp the chicken rice. after that we went for our usual sat midnight show=) relive the good old days in spring=). oh yeah. we watched crank. gosh. traumatized. but the guys all loved it. but i did appreciate the humor. junwan was absolutely traumatized.
tennised with the usual bunch on sunday morning. actually the first time i've been to sunday morning tennis. =)
tues sept 19
@$#@#^!@$!#^!@#$. guess who came back to town. "transiting in champaign" (who the hell transits champaign). @#!%!^#$!$^#@$@!. sq. it was good to see him before he left for nottingham though. i think he was glad to be back on campus too. =)
fri sept 22
had lunch with kaoru (whos' back in town too!) and sq at murphy's (yummy burger!! never discovered the place earlier ;( ) . spent most of the afternoon driving sq around... so caught up with him=). he's gonna leave tmr so this'll be "the last" i'll see of him for a while.
and in the afternoon, i left with xinning and 5 other girls for west virginia for white water rafting. i felt a little reluctant hence obscuring any potential fervor i had for whitewater rafting. i'll be missing out on the weekend!! it was dom's bday and obviously they're gonna celebrate it this weekend. and ui aik's 21st on sunday!!!! =(((( missed it. PLUS. junwan's aptment was gonna have housewarming on sat night. damndamn.
so we drove for about 10 to the campsite at like 2am.
sat sept 23rd
we went hiking..saw the big nice bridge...quite nice lar. less mountainous than i expected, that was a little disappointing=P the most memorable was still the tennessee/n. carolina stretch we drove through during springbreak. very nice. my mind lingers on it=)
the hiking was ... ee..a muddy affair.=SSS
sun sept 24th.
rafting!! on the upper gauley river. i recommend it to anyone. because it was 1. quite long so quite worth it 2. the biggest freaking rapids on earth. it's the 2nd most rafted river in the US. the highest class was V+ omg-_-. did i mention i fell out 5 times? . -_-. i didn't enjoy it as much as my springbreak tennessee one actually..for various reasons. including falling out 5 times harharhar. well, at least now pple ask me, have you ever fallen out before? i can finally say, yes -_-.
then after another 9hr drive, we reached home at 1am. and i was actually cajoled into going over to junwan's aptment TO DO WORK. well i did have a piece of hw due at 10am.... joshua fed me a....caffeine pill. and i was full of energy-_-
fri sept29th
DENNIS CAME BACK AHHHHHHHHH. i knew he was back in chicago. had wanted to give him a call... but he beat me to it!. and guess what, he said, i'm actually outside your house now. wahahahahaha.
went for the season opening ice hockey game as advertised by nic. it was good! didn't like the choruses of "YOU SUCK!" though...but i guess they're so numb to it already -_-.
it's manling, aldrich's bday! as usual they were trying to get ui aik drunk at joe's (it has become a common affair, either strip him or make him drunk -_- the seniors ar..). and it was mark wilfred's bday on sunday. i didnt drive this time, and i actually had fun!! for the first time. i drank lar minimally laaaaar. harhar. but enough to feel happy. so dennis josh mark junwan and i ahem, half stumbled/raced one anohter back to the aptment for chowmein party harharhar. it was so nice to have dennis back! i didn't get to talk to him alot though, just when we were going to joe's. coz it has been such a hectic fri for me, as usual.
so yeah, i was a bit more nonsensical and ridiculous than normal. harhar saw ooi online when i got back and purposely wanted to freak him out by typing funny things. but he was asleep. too bad man, you missed out;)
i like this photo because it has (some of) my favourite pple inside.

sat sept 30
got woken up by zhenhao and weihong. who were complaining to me about dmv. harhar. then went for lunch with zhenhao and dennis and co. at manwok... byebye dennis=( back to chicago you go.
after that there was the freshies' maf rehearsal... i sat there and did my work lor. then went to walmart. freshies gonna have party tonight coz they missed out last night at joe's. raise eyebrows. but i had to rush off for kejia's bday dinner (her bday tmr=)...and then rush back for florida meeting...yay mostly settled...
anyway. shocked. disgusted. pui.
wed oct 4th.
argh. many issues on hand. i appreciate the effort the seniors put in, it was honestly very surprising and touching... but it just makes things more difficult. and all i wanted was an honest opinion also lar... not some up to you. crap i sound like sq two sems ago. but that's coz i ... value your opinion lar. good that you did tell me in the end! yay=).
thurs oct 5th
val's bday! called her at night after having much difficulty getting through to her. finally. so i talked to her for a while. sad=( realise missed her.
fri oct 6th
stayed up the whole night to do work!! my god. we are all crazy. then at 8 in the morning i gave jinyuan a ride to dmv. it was nice to drive through the champaign neighborhood at this time...with the big trees and their golden leaves=) plus it's been pretty long since i've talked to jinyuan! yay.
i went for tennis with nic and yongji after school was out. really enjoyed it this time. (i really like nic!! he's such a fun+funny+unique person. cool man. this kinda pple give me hope abt the world. -thumbs up-.) though i was pretty off for the first hour + -_- then went to walmart with nic tracy n kejia... harhar usual rounds lar. yay.
sat oct 7th
maf. oh man. ok lar i thought it was quite jialat, but i'm not surprised by myself. this was how it was gonna turn out harhar... i knew it before it started. but all was well=) and the redeeming factor was the lantern walk in the jap garden=)! yay!! that was fun man.
sun oct 8th
called xu xu just now. she's going for mwg!!!=))))
ok more next time (in a month's time prob=P)