Tuesday, September 28, 2004

what is this, show review week?
=) well i went out with xu xu shulin hannah eric today after phys s (our official last paper. argh, finally. feeling more zombified by the day). we had a good lunch at taka crystal jade, after which xu xu and i caught xin jing cha gu shi/new police story. it's my first time watching a chinese show in the cinema; was never quite enthusiastic about such a prospect, and was even a little reluctant about this at first. but xu xu said some of her room mates had caught it and said that it was jackie chan's best movie by far, which i agree with now.

it really was quite good. lots of bullets whizzing past, lots of glass breaking, nice breathtaking .. edge-of-buildings views. but the plot was really good too, really painful. although jackie chan's not exactly fantastic at xin1 li3 miao2 xie3 but the plot sufficed. a few surprises here and there, a little bit of humour occasionally (one really funny part), many many stunts and heavy guns. but it was obvious he's aged. i've actually lived long enough to witness things/people change..hmm. not too encouraging. but he's 40+++? and still doing all those things, whoa. if i ever had an idol that'll be him, his spirit mainly. and he seems a very nice guy.

but the pain was very real at the beginning. xu xu was squeezing my hand every now and then, well i was squeezing hers too. and it was pain that was beyond...tears. (doesn't sound impressive but really..) all i could do was sit there, squint my eyes, sigh and shake my head. (i feel old).

the ending wasn't too extensively developed though, the emotional part. and everything just melted into "awww victims of society, all of them".

anyway so irritating.
nothing's for sure, that's why i'm such an uncertain person.
i'm quite sick of everything around me. ich habe die Nase voll. und ich vermisse Deutsch. also dann schreibe ich hier ein paar deutsche Wörter. sag nichts! geh los.
durch Leben und alle Erfahrungen lernt man besser zu sein. hoffentlich.
und es macht nicht, ob du dich kümmerst, weil es mir völlig egal ist.
that took a bit of an effort..

happy merry zhong qiu jie, wo auch immer du bist. (i'm effectively trilingual, for this sentence)

Sunday, September 26, 2004

well just finished watching vertical limit so time for another show review! =) rambling time more like.
it was quite disturbing, and it brought to mind what mr khoo said, about A.I., how computers will never be human because they can't perceive the value of infinity. "2 lives are worth more than 1? no, two inifinities are not larger than one infinity".
but only the front part was truly disturbing, the repeating scenario at the end where the old guy cut his rope to save (give them a chance to survive, rather) the rest only brought to mind "aaas predicted" unfortunately. well at least he got a part of his wish fulfilled before he died.
but the dad..was..ouch. such a great dad. but well i figured life's all about sacrifices; some people have less so that we can have more, whether the "so that" is a "damit" (with the intention of) or a "sodaß" (as a result). ah heil deutsch.
actually right now i feel rather inspired to sacrifice my life for, any worthy purpose. so what if you die, so what if you live? his sister (whatever their names are i can't remember. oh peter and annie. so sweet), annie, (now that she has a name) lives, gets to see peter, the other 6 (more actually) who died...well they just died and had their picture pinned on the mass of rocks at base camp. it doesn't sound like too bad an idea...everything just, ceases, to exist, to happen. no i'm not suicidal. but...i really don't see much significance, in the difference between living and dying. actually i'd live not for things i'd get to see or enjoy, but for not wanting to miss people around me.
well i often think, dying is like, causing a little localised ripple in this world. but the ripple fades away over time. well alright maybe it's a little different, there'll always be a little indentation at the centre.
the sound of "everything just ceases" isn't that bad. (no really, i'm not suicidal.) actually my mom will personally assure me that everything will cease if she ever sees this. she thinks life is the most important thing; i disagree with her at times and she'd say i'm dumb. maybe i'll change my mind and adopt hers when i have kids. but for now i still think there are some things worth dying for.

let's see, they managed to get the sister out, in the course of which....ah, 4 rescuers died. it's...too complicated for my brain right now, i can't make a judgement=S. and the only conclusion i can make for the night is, mountain climbing is scary, no equipment is reliable. (all the picks or whatever you call it keep slipping at the critical moments). the pakistanis were cute=)

Saturday, September 25, 2004

hello! after a month. preoccupied with prelims, well more or less. (they were bad too)
(i shall paragraph more often for easy reading).
september holidays were spent in school and exciting.=) especially september 6th (happy birthday). so i was in school from mon to fri, played badminton every day (har! secret training), except the first, think it was basketball. and guess who else was (were..) in school every day. i sat with baorong and yingheng every day (oops=) she said she doesn't mind. but. oops=S). and.....=) i said hi! i mean we said hi, because of yingheng=) well done, gut gemacht! but um.. so? nichts.
(oh yeah h i haven't told you so quick come online i'll tell you)
it's weird, when you really question it, there's no meaning to it, and it really doesn't matter. things i thought mattered actually don't. so there's a lesson on relative importance...as i was talking to jin about this morning/evening.
so over the holidays that wasn't the only time i talked, but really uncomfortable, and it's not just the "i just got to know you" kind. oh well, yeah you're right, whoever you are.

the last of the main A papers ended yesterday with bio mcq, and a badminton fiesta thereafter at clementi sports hall with classmates (the usual supporters, hon wei li eric xiaohui shifeng! (i read her blog, i'm really glad she enjoyed it. she was the one who contacted me)and many guys.) that was fun, felt a little dreamy, the place. couldn't move again, even though i consistently told myself to MOVE. i think it had sth to do with the shuttlecocks too, they were light/heavy, xiaohui and i can't decide, because when we hit them there was no power, but they flew out of the court really easily.
had a really good match right at the end, with wei li as my partner against andy and hongking. (so frustrating, my smashes weren't killer enough, they always bounced back) so there were andy falling all over the place trying to save all kinds of shots while wei li flew around in front of me doing dropshots. but there were 2 consecutive smashes by andy/hongking that i managed to save, that felt good, it felt like war though=S.
i like sports alot because i really put in all i've got, all i'm worth, into it. it doesn't matter anymore whether i'm supposed to act like a girl (i don't anyway), so here's to sports. Prost!

after i came back to school (that was rather sad, there weren't many j2s around) i spotted hannah and grace sitting in the canteen, they were about to go off. then i saw john walking towards the gym with a few tennis rackets, he was really nice, he said hi and signalled at a distance asking if i wanted to join. of course i jumped at the chance. grace and i dashed off after them. her mom was coming, so we only played err...about 5 balls (basically we picked up the ball 5 times. it was all in a hurry) and her mom was already calling her. another time! we shall play tennis.

thankfully Three pple were left, john, two hockey boys ivan and ywee ern. so i played with ywee ern against the other two, it wasn't great but quite enjoyable. i was really lousy, but got warmed up after a while. john and ywee ern went off to play squash so i was playing with ivan. he's so terribly nice, just brimming and overflowing, with niceness. i really don't get it.

so we went to the squash courts as well. besides ywee ern and john, siva was there too, he's so hilarious. i've decided i'll hold nothing against him from now on=P and he's my kind of squash player, whack!
so i played a bit as well, against ywee ern and then john, and then chethan who came in later. i really...can't play. hmm. i make them run once in a while, but once they make me run, i'm quite dead. must have more confidence=P and put in more effort.
two seniors came back, kailun (ah now i know who he is, after not knowing while reading hon's blog) and his girlfriend (i suppose) who's also an ex-hockey girl.
new discovery, squash's quite fun too, maybe i'll not only play tennis with grace after As but also squash (uh oh, hope she'll bear with me=).
felt a little out, wanted to leave early but the two seniors were almost sitting on my stuff.

but like i said, it made me feel good to "gaarrrr!" and run about and whacking tennis/squash balls. there was a rally with ivan during tennis that made my lungs feel dry. ow. he hit to my left. so i ran after it, and i KNEW he was gonna hit to the right, even though i also knew that he wasn't gonna do it intentionally. after madly making a run for the ball that indeed flew to the right and getting it back, i foresaw once again, that it was gonna go all the way to my left. and it did. harharhar. it was funny to see how embarrassed and apologetic he looked.
so rather rewarding a day, not only from the sports but also from getting to know more people=) (and losing weight)

after that i went to the canteen, and a junior from 1so3f actually came over and said hi. though i wasn't in a very sociable mood, that still made me feel better. unfortunately they lost their pw file... which brought to mind the time tianjiao lost our group's on the bus, but managed to find it at the terminal. whew=S now i know how lucky we were.

then i went up to the library for a while. chenglim was pingponging with his cronies on the 2nd floor. they're so creative and resourceful to use the extra table tennis tables outside the hall to play. no wonder i keep hearing the sound of ping pong ball bouncing around from that corner.

oh and i lost my ic, from wednesday's paper i figured. i went to look for the estate manager, and whew, he had it. he dug around his drawers and took it out, "what's your name?". "sun yi". it was mine, i recognised the photo. he then threw his arms up in fake jubilation and looked thankful. harharhar so sarcastic.=)

today...so paiseh but...i was...um. watching....um. meteor garden (wish i could shrink the size of that) it's actually the second time i've watched it. the last time i found really touching, but it was quite crap this time around. it's getting too...ridiculous and unreal. the reason why shows are addictive and labelled as "good", i think, is because the reality of them, not just the plot, but more importantly the personality of the characters. shancai is getting too....obstinate and retorting, for my liking and for what i believe seems real (pls don't bring up the matrix). i mean for guys it's more understandable...for e.g. it doesn't seem as weird for dao ming si to be obstinate and jealous yet generous (he's giving her 1million..) because you can understand where he's coming from. but she...everytime she has to say sth so they end up in fights, that's quite..um. unbelievable. i mean at first it was like, wow such a tough little girl (though small will not be looked on as small)...but after a while....just another girl throwing tantrums. and it made me think, if she actually didn't constantly respond in the way she habitually does to dao ming si, like "you stupid pig/idiot" but instead really sweetly and supportive he might not have liked her. ok understandable, you want a little excitement because when everything's too smooth it's boring, but it's making me rather tired of seeing her doing the same thing, and making her character very predictable. ok maybe some pple like their characters to be predictable because it means you've got a good feeling of what she's like, so she'd seem rather close to your heart...but...it's different..it's...hmm. i know, it's because her character buildup wasn't so strong, it doesn't convince, at least me, that she's such an .. unversatile and uncompromising person. i don't think it's the acting...maybe it's the script. really quite....superfluous. everything's about shouting obscenities, crying, looking sad, pouting, bashing people up. the first time i found it actually nice, was because of some depth in the complications. the plot creates a scenario where .. you're so helpless, you wanna do sth but really the circumstances do not permit.
(ah one big chunk. if only i were a good writer, it would've been much more enjoyable)
but it made me think about this strange thing you call, love. nvm think about that later. go back to phys s now.