Sunday, April 25, 2004

22nd april: happy birthday xizhen and alfred, 26th: hon! and 30th: eric!

my big voice has been getting me into trouble. 2 times. but .. well heck. you live you learn, you get scolded you learn. more like learn to deal with it. they don't even matter to me so heck to them.=) are pple getting jealous of my gute Laune and just wanna break my day or sth?

thanks to telle shu xuxu and i got to do ushering for dance night on 23rd. that was really fun=) and i got to make friends too, some nus students who do ushering as part time jobs. surprisingly i felt really at home there. the 3 ushers were really friendly, that made my day. so hard not to be in a good mood. but i had two abrasions on the back of my heel at the end of my day. all the pple were so glamorous there. met lots of pple of course, it was good to see jolyn especially, if only for a brief moment and a hug.=) and hon, mag and mag's friend. really enjoyed the atmosphere, in stark contrast to the one on saturday, the paym one. didn't feel comfortable there; they weren't my kind of pple. i went with hon charmain n terence, zhen zhen arrived even later than us (so sorry for being so late), and xiaohui was there too. =S. after that milled around in town. my parents actually didn't really qtn me about where i went, but they knew i had "something on". i've been getting home late regularly now, during weekdays at least, and they're not really questioning or anything, so i guess they're adjusting. but of course i'm doing what i'm supposed to and nothing else=). actually if i weren't i'd never get past my own conscience.

and yes, my personal bests are always getting better, the most recent and most crucial: 12:29! that's a D for a guy woohoo.
oh yes after PE/2.4 run i went for the wellesley talk with xuxu and sixuan. they really wanna go i think. the admin officer who came over was really nice, jill. so sweet and mild. very encouraging, very typical. reminded me of my ESL teachers when i first went to perth. just the thought of being purely warm and good to others is really sweet. we really need more of that here. and wellesley's nice. sounds a tad like rgs. but there's always the money and grades to think about. xuxu's was so overjoyed that we went. good for her=).

have alot of stuff to do..all the work. getting numb. now i really don't know whether i look forward to going to school or just, as many around me are, kept going by "the only thing" (or a few).
spirit is going down..down down. noooooooo. need that hype and cheer back. (hello hello?)
( class i jumped up and down. clapped and cheered when the bell rang=S)

watched "houdini" today. no wonder "eric weiss" sounded so familiar. but he's hungarian. and he's intense. but the "love" part could have been portrayed better. he was so intense he drove everyone around him mad..his wife..his brother. the man pple hate to love/love to hate? he didn't seem human at times, so cold and hard inside, and then explosive at other times. all because of the death of his mother? he was so deep, so difficult to fathom. but i guess being a magician you have to have that charisma and the air of mystery, and be able to put your audience on the edge of their seat, that, including his wife, to make his act even more thrilling. i didn't like that, the way his wife had to hold her breath and withhold the tears in her eyes as the time ticked by, waiting for him to surface, or burst through the screen, or unfetter himself. his wife was amazing..although i think at some point in time she almost couldn't stand it and wanted to leave him ("i love eric weiss, not harry houdini. i don't even know who you are anymore!"). he proposed to her one day after he met her.-_-. but surprising it lasted so long..and she still loved him so much after his death. but he was selfish, boastful, crazy. lost i guess.

did you win=)? i bet you did. for the hair's sake.

Thursday, April 15, 2004

what a day!
started off late as usual, but met ruifen and mag and once again we took a cab to school. grr.
the rest of the day pretty good, i could actually keep ahead of maths tutorial by doing the qtn immediately after the one she was going through =) funny i found that. but i could tell that she could tell i wasn't listening. and it was a little urgent coz she was sorta "eating up" my qtns as i was doing them.
anyway didn't go to the library during break. *looks up*. after school went to ghim moh with shulin, she was buying flowers. eric was very worked up over guitar and p, as usual. i don't know how to tell pple to come down, esp. in my present state of unclear speech. and honestly wang ning didn't do a very good job. guys. men. *roll eyes*
and physics s. =(. hai. =(. stressed out before that..but no surprise. i've said "as usual" how many times, but this is too appropriate for this occasion. AFTER that was supposed to go for training...went into canteen to bum around after i changed. ran into bena (and who else was there!! surprise =). i'm so lausig) who asked if i wanted to go run. "am supposed to train, but.. HECK LAR". oh do you know it's my last training today? and i ran with bena. -_-. after a few rounds we came back...and we ran into shane (and who else still there.) .. bena left, eesang had i was bumming around with shane, doing a little "staring experiment". and then my big mouth landed me in trouble. he suggested running again (since i didn't wanna go train) and i said, "ok i'll race you!!"=S. he gave me a 10s headstart for 200m and thundered past me at about 175m. and then we walked around the track, raced some more. so tired. so i have been landed into a state with even sorer legs... but it was good, we managed to have some stuff to say every round. he said i'd make a good beer buddy! and i told him adeline, he and me would make 3 good beer buddies. (buddies! exactly like this. while sitting in the canteen-_-)
i finally went back up to the hall to get my bag...but sorta got "trapped" there. so paiseh. last training i didn't even stand in front of the table. you know, what the heck lar. and now i shall announce to the whole world how damn happy i am to be done with table tennis in 2 days. i can't lie about my feelings can i.
so i came down about 30 mins later, did some work with shane who was waiting for his parents till 10pm (!). i didn't even manage to do ONE maths qtn in one whole hour. i did 3 sides of working but somehow the answer at the back's pretty nice and whole-some.
and as i was about to go home at 9.30 ruifen appeared again! she just finished her dance pract. so we walked to the mrt together=) what a "fateful" day, in her words.

BUT BUT BUT. the highlight of the day came when i walked up the escalator to buona vista mrt. saw a figure vaguely familiar...contained my enthusiasm (or maybe not), ran up to scare her...but hesitated and scrutinised her. her 2 hwachong friends pretty amused. ah guess who! xizzy!. then we started screaming-_-.

the noise we made and the stupid things we did! felt like coming back from german again...always grabbing our bags and scrambling off the train as we reached choa chu kang. and we had an ice cream from mac's as well....walked to the bus stop...=) awww the old days.

Thursday, April 08, 2004

it's been a fantastic day today, probably had alot to do with it being xu xu's birthday (and ad's 18th! wah!). it's really good to be around pple who make you feel good and comfortable, i guess these are called "friends".
on top of that i saw twice!.. oi remember what you said sonnig. but of course it brightens the day oder?

between end of school n physics s i had plenty of time to bum around in the library. went down for a toilet break and (as usual) ran into hon in the toilet near the gym (which was actually contrary to what i just said, was a surprise). harhar she's too quick in her thinking, i couldn't even follow (neither could i defend myself. but i guess unconsciously, she's right) so my toilet break became a sorta extended chatting break (and darn i didn't see ANYTHING coz i was looking but not know.). i'm so glad for her recent coming into my life, it's definitely made my life in school so much more exciting. but i'm sorry it has to be at her expense (sort of) and..someone else's. and i'm a little worried because i can't be certain that i can reciprocate the same thing.
sat with val during physics s, =) gosh those whacky days. val, there's no difference in you being funny or silly to me=)

well a few pple around me have been a little gloomy again...they're "sick of studying, sick of school". i don't know what to say...especially online. a little hard to express myself online. all i wanna do is talk to them in person, even if i don't say alot, i'll just listen and look at them intently, and give them a hard pat on the back at the end. i believe it's much better than onlining. it's so hard to believe in oneself. i mean, pple believe in me, and i fervently believe in some's not that easy eh?

pb 13:30! next target: not to feel like dying during the 5th lap (at that pace). running at night's rather nice, just that the other day i overheard someone saying it's really bad for the lungs, all the moisture. =S

some people really have attitude problems, but it's ok, it's not gonna ruin a fantastic day of mine.=). oh and the first thing my dad did after i got home was to say some really @!#$$#@%@#$% stuff-_- but i yelled at him so i guess that's ok=)
the "nasty people: how to stop being hurt by them without stooping to their level" book i borrowed from lot 1 yesterday caught a few pple's attention today, just as it had caught my eye. pretty good so far, learnt some new stuff already:

1. don't take it personally. one important thing to remember: if it weren't you the person would've done the same. this is tied in with narcissm. it's not all about you, life goes on even if you're not around. don't take it personally, coz you're not entitled to!
2. if someone puts you down (whether obvious or subtle) or makes you feel bad (without you quite putting your finger on the reason that causes it) relax. it's coz she/he's scared of you and regards you as a threat. so feel good instead! it's really frustrating when you're trying to get someone but that person doesn't get really well=)

i'm sorry i missed you on sunday!! nooooo. =S.

Sunday, April 04, 2004

a busy week it has been, but thankfully filled only with activities and not the stress and homework that'll come in due time (say, next week).

had training on monday, tuesday, first game on wednesday, nothing exciting, as expected both guys and girls 5:0-ed their opponents.

i really love the school after everyone leaves in the evening. i think this started during the march hols. it feels really relaxed and warm. i stayed back coz dental appointment was at 8.30pm.
nonchalance, turbulence. still havent' done what i said i'd do. =S.

exciting!! overnight today!
at 12.30 after the row of 5 tutorials i really couldn't stand it. i'd rather have a 4.30 day on monday than on a friday. and seeing the engine pple fleeing at 12.30pm out of school was the last straw. ARGH.
but qa test as i was told, was indeed not too difficult. the last qtn was quite interesting. i can say this coz for the first time i had enough time!
ran with bena after school for about 20mins, caught up on some gossip harhar=) the only time to. honlyn lent me her heartshaped pillow=) (school's good as you can tell. enjoying it alot)
and then training, couldn't wait to start astro.
but....pretty stressed out. only about 1/3 of the pple who signed up TURNED up...i had promised mr loh that all those who signed up WILL come. -_- but expected sigh. and some of them didn't have their consent forms (signed)but i gave them extra copies on the spot and .. they handed up in time. -_-. the games were pathetic all because their responses were pathetic. really wanted to whack them, and i wasn't the only one feeling that way. *breathe*.
the sky was pretty good towards 1, 2am...the moon, jupiter were great. yeah man that's what astro's about. but most of the j1s were somewhere in school instead of with us, and some of them i didn't see again after marking attendance. hmmmmmm. bad thing about having it in school. good thing is that we could screen movies, and there was our "base", com lab 3. but the dew was really bad, all the telescopes, radios etc were totally wet. worried about how they dealt with that=S.

around 2am there was a j1, gim hong, playing basketball, so hannah and i joined him for a while, then huileng, gary, eddie, zhiqiang, cheng lim came as well, so we played 4 on 3. cheng lim's so funny. he's such an ass and so rude, but he's...funny. he was everywhere on the court (it was totally dark too). he shoots from somewhere outside and then he runs in and gets the rebound before everyone else. -_-. hyperactive kid. both physically and mentally. but it was really funny, playing basketball in the dark. suddenly we were all like little 3 year olds whose psycho-motor skills still had some way to go. eventually they all left, except gim hong zhiqiang and me, and we played the abc game again. i got a 3 pointer (the first in my life? with a basketball)! and all 3 of us made the whole way=) that was pretty much the funnest part of overnight.
so after that zhiqiang and i went back to com lab and we didn't know what else to do, so we decided to screen some other movie. (here goes the really impressive part) but, all the shows had disappeared except for "the core" which had to be shown on dvd...but we had brought the cable out to the track. so .......zhiqiang said "ok i'll go get the cable". !!!!! it was 3+am and i was half asleep and i couldn't believe there was actually a person to offer to go all the way up to the track to get the cable. =S. by the time he came back i had fallen asleep. but i woke up to watch the show for...10 mins. -_- i felt pretty bad since i was one of the .. major advocators of watching another show at 3am. and whenever the sound got too loud or soft zhiqiang got up and went over to adjust the volume. !!!!. =S. well. if anyone claims that all men are bad i'll have a counter-example for her (most likely).

then i got up at was funny, trying to step between all the bodies on the floor, and went off to chung cheng. saw zhiqiang, hannah and yuying on the track, where the telescopes were, chatting. it was really nice, the track all misty and the sun coming up. wish i had had enough energy not to sleep those few hours and really enjoy the school.

actually fell asleep during the second girls' doubles game=S. but it was really...boring. i can almost say literally, that the girls could've beaten nyjc "hands down". =S.
but the guys are starting to meet resistance, with their 2nd game against meridian jc. junxiang had some trouble during his 2nd n 3rd sets and i think, went on to 5 sets. i heard benedict had the same problem. but eventually they still beat meridian 5:0. the pressure starts setting in. after almost everyone had finished their games nj and aj (last i believe) singles were still playing. was a very heated match, was of pretty good standard, very exciting=). best luck to the guys.
oh, the guys' first game was at 8.30am, against jurong jc. guess who was jj's last single! swee feng!! he was pretty good! and i really liked the way he carried himself, not too unconfident, but not shouting and too much testosterone etc, like some of the guys who were pretty disgusting. but, unfortunately he got beaten by his (unknown to either) pschool junior jianhong. but i still thought he did a pretty good job=) he's really lanky now but rather expected, he was always so skinny in pschool, and still as quiet. i was quite ambivalent; i knew jianhong was gonna win for sure, but for all the, whatever little, the brilliance swee feng showed during the game i was so much more "yeah!"-ish. there was once i actually went "yeah!....oops" when swee feng la-ed well and jianhong missed the ball. =) wonder how it feels for sihuan, seeing her nanyang teammates play against her current team mates. so much easier when your team's playing some stranger. then there won't be that area of grey.

and then i left early with mrs cheong, both of us getting a lift from mr n mrs cheang (harhar mr cheang slimmed down again i think. so funny. singapore's really small.). glad i had SOME stuff to say to mrs cheong all the way from kallang to dover. whew. but she's pretty nice, more importantly still very young at heart, and still somewhat at "my generation". i can't believe she's married...she still recalls so much about her days in rj, about badminton etc. and then blink, she's married (and gonna have kids soon.) nooooooo. that's what'll become of all of us!!

slept through saturday-_-.