so the wahrheit of the matter is. you have to be sufficiently silly and naive to be pure of heart and selfless. hmmmm. i'm sad that there aren't enough such pple around me... but i am sad for those who are too.. its true. if the same happened to me, he'd know no one would come after him. at critical moments you see pple staying out of the way.. but its just a reminder that we're all in this Alone. but it's ok, dennesmachtmirnichts. wirdmichnichtauswirken.
segeln. ruhe. zwang
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Thursday, September 20, 2007
so much for my "i will never complain about it being hot again" a few days ago during the cold front. harharharhar. i am dreading the cold this year. things won't be as convenient anymore..i'm very apprehensive.. weather IS rather important to me i realized. it has to be perfect, not just the right temperature, but the right amount of movement of air as well. so picky. which brings me to what i had been thinking about this evening on my way back from the silos. i think, i'd like to believe, that i know myself pretty well by now, and i've come to the conclusion that if anybody knows me quite well, it gets more and more obvious that i'm an only kid. very often i think about "my way"! and sometimes i insist on getting it, and feel such elation and triumph when i do get it. harhar. amused. i'm enjoying lincoln for as long as i can help it. or rather, as long as the weather permits.
my schedule is a little crazy this semester.. not crazy as in omg i'm not gonna handle it i have to be in school 40h/a week kinda crazy. crazy as in...weird. all my 4 pieces of work are due on mon and tues... and i have absolutely nothing due on the remainder of the week. this extremity, dichotomy (whatever it means, the angmohs in my jap culture class use it so knowingly and professionally i shall use it too to sound cool) is just ridiculous-_-. i'm damn stressed on sunday and monday and tues night then the rest of the week nothing one. erps. weird.
ohohoh. i drove this hugeass BUS to chicago for the labor day trip this year. my mom would've freaked if she had seen it. almost got into an accident the first day driving it back from the uni garage=SSSSSS in chicago walked down michigan ave. so many times i was Really pleased. (..) but alot of the time was spent in the company of freshies. alot of them. did i mention how many there are? too many. argh. maybe partly i felt so antisocial and isolated was coz i feel old. bleah. but i think i'm really getting pretty good at humoring people i first meet..or acquaintances (the hardest).. apparently it seems pretty convincing to a third party...as if i really care. but i'm sure any sharp person can sense that i don't. it's hard to get to know people... i'm close to giving up. besides, my resolution to stick to old friends has been pretty successful! made better friends of old friends too...which, in view of what i just stated, is quite an accomplishment! i've gotten to know what, 5 new freshies? but i've had more homecooked food in the past 4 or 5 weeks than...prob the whole of last semester. and i'm cooking my first meal tmr!!! wish me luck harhar.
i'm just letting this year go by whichever way it desires to.. it is my last anyway...just don't throw me any difficult situations. please?